Goodness, where does the time go? Mummy would say that I wouldn’t notice because I’m adoze a lot of the time. But I’m not really, am I, ‘cos I know when something interesting is taking place.
Take this morning. A lovely sunny day. Ideal for sleeping in the shade after my brekkie somewhere in my lovely big garden. And what happens – I get put in the car (have to use the ramp out as well as in these days) and we’re off before you can say Jack Rabbit. Ten minutes later we got out and wandered around Wem aimlessly looking for ‘events’ as mum calls them. She disappeared into a little place and came out five minutes later with a tea towel for Guide Dogs. How many tea towels does she need for goodness sake? Next we went across the road to another place to look for plants, but she said they were rubbish – ooh! Well, not what she wanted anyway. Then we walked a long way to the field where I sometimes have to make myself comfy, but there was nothing going on there; so off we went to the town hall place where there was supposed to be a farmers’ market – but ‘nothing at all in there either’ said Chris. What a fiasco! We found out later that the farmers’ market was in the car park – ha-ha!
Next we got back in the car and drove up to the next town, where I was left to look after the car, whilst the humans went for paint and stuff. Well, I ask you! They said I wasn’t going to be left at all today, because they would spend all day with me. Bloomin’ cheek.
On the way home we stopped at a lake we sometimes go to and I had another walk – lots of lovely smells there. Mummy and I met Chris back at the plant shop where there was a little girl collie called Polly, but I grumbled at her too. Why do I do that? I had some chicken with my biscuits for lunch before we were off in the car again.
When we got home it kept raining on and off for the rest of the afternoon. I was in, out, in, out until after my tea. Then the sun came out and I stayed outside until it was time for my evening walk. Isn’t it nice now going out in the daylight? Anyway after I‘d had my walk my humans had their tea. Of course I was ready for a play then, but they said they weren’t – but they did anyway. But only for about five minutes, because I wanted to play outside. Chris said it was too cold, so I took one squeaky out with me for a little while. Soon I was feeling ready for my bed, so I decided to go back in. It was still light even then. The next night I was sitting in the glass room with mum and the wind was howling round the corners. Every now and then something would creek or groan and wake me up. Phooey.
Chris took me on a new walk the other day. We were allowed to walk round a ploughed field to the trees at the other side, where there was a little river. It was a really hot day and I walked further than I should. My legs were a bit squiffy for a few days afterwards, but it was worth it. The next day mummy went shopping and brought me home a new sweetie. It was scrumptious and made of crunchy chicken stuff.
Oh Dear. I had a bit of an accident today. In fact, it was really three separate accidents. I fell off my ramp that helps me get in the car. I was going out with mummy because Chris was poorly. She has a bit of a struggle with the ramp ‘cos it’s so heavy. I charged up the ramp, because I was so keen to go out in the car, and I slipped off sideways and landed in a big heap on the floor. Ouch, that hurt my leg. When we got to the river I was so keen to get out again that I didn’t give mummy enough time to put the ramp in place properly and I jumped on it and fell off at the bottom, hurting my leg again. I hobbled about for a bit, till mum gave it a rub and a stretch. It was ok then. Later when we got home I missed stepping on the ramp completely and fell on the floor in a big heap, again. What am I like? I was really sore then. I had to have a tablet at bedtime to make me comfortable.
Well, you could blow me down with a feather – p’raps not quite! One morning they were there; next they weren’t. Our neighbours – the sheep – gone. To market I presume. Mummy said she will miss watching their funny antics – cuddling up to each other one minute and bashing each other on the head the next, or running helter-skelter across the field for no apparent reason. Oh well never mind, I might be able to walk in the field again when they’ve taken away that nasty wire thing.
We went to Ellesmere Lake again for a lunchtime walk (convenient that it’s always at a lunchtime) and saw a pair of Canada geese guarding a nest of eggs and another pair of Greylag geese guarding four little chicks, but one was a different colour from the other three. That was odd, wasn’t it?
I told you about all the birds in my new garden, didn’t I? But I don’t think I mentioned the bees. We’ve got lots of them and different kinds. Some seem to live underground by the patio place; there are lots of tiny holes appearing in the soil and bees all around. Also lots of them get stuck inside the conservatory and can’t get out again. Mummy says she spends ages scooping them up and putting them out of a window. She said there was a huge one in the living room the other night, a great big fat thing that she scooped up into a little plastic cup and took outside and put it on the fence.
You know I have two medicines now for my bad joints? Well, they still aren’t much good. My joints, I mean. I’m always aching and if I lie down for too long I struggle to get up again. Anyway, I was going to say that the tablets give me the botty-burps after I’ve had them! Chris and mummy sometimes give me a massage to help make me better, but I grumble at them because it hurts. Quite often I trip over my own feet if they hurt too much. Mummy does that too because she’s got sore feet. Some days I feel quite old and forget myself – I stop and gaze into the distance as if I’m remembering things from long ago. At other times I can be like a puppy wanting to play, or just cheeky and barking at my humans. Mummy said we all have to get old with aches and pains, even her and Chris. But no-one is as old as me are they? Well, actually mummy’s auntie Phyllis is 101, that’s a little bit older than me, isn’t it?
A couple of days after the sheep had gone the farmer was in the field, at the far side, in his big blue tractor. Mummy was aghast – she said he was ploughing up the field. Oh no! The next day the farmer came along in his big red tractor and did something else. Hope he doesn’t plough up the field by us too, ‘cos then I won’t be able to go in there at all. Another day he came racing across the field in the blue tractor and we thought he was going to start ploughing again, but he was just taking a short cut to the gateway next to ours. Phew, that was lucky.
We’ve had another man and another big red lorry here today. This lorry had a red tube coming out of it all the way up our garden to a big green tank that was hiding behind the shed. Mummy said it was for the central heating. What’s it doing behind the shed then?
Next morning I had another accident getting out of the car, down by the river where we were going for a walk. I slipped off the side of the ramp again and landed in a heap, mummy got quite upset. I think she’s worried about me. Chris gave me a pain killer at bedtime and I was fine again by morning.
Lots of woofs from Alfie xxx.